A Family Village Recipe
Posted by Tiziana on March 03, 2011
Shared interest + Proximity + Compatible Life stage/style + Kiddos with similar ages and Voila!When are you available next?
I have lived in 4 countries over two continents, and traveled extensively around the world for pleasure and work. Because of my constant moving I’ve spent a lot time pondering and reading about meeting new people, making friends and how to pick them...
I have found that a shared interest has helped me tremendously connect with others. For example, during my pregnancy I enjoyed yoga. I found that being a regular helped to meet new moms, get a sense of community and learn new tips on how to handle the latest discomfort. The consistency of meeting with complete strangers, in a neutral spot week after week created a safe ground for establishing trust, shared perspective and experiences.
In an ideal world I would look to my neighborhood to help me build a sense of community. However, in today’s world you just can’t walk to a library, stores, post office or other places and in fact I barely see my neighbors. We have a nice neighborhood park yet, it is barely used......... Where is everybody???? I suppose they are in their cars going places... Yet, once baby G arrived I found that convenience and proximity gained a new level of importance. Wherever you are in the world, there is traffic, and rush hours... finding yourself stuck in it is not pleasant to say the least- especially when your little one needs are not being met and is not bashful in letting you know about them... Now I understand why there are so many gated communities being build and why good school districts drive the price of real estate crazy.
Since motherhood has come about I have created more friendships with other moms. I have some very dear, dear friends, and even though we are not experiencing similar life stage (their kids are teens and/or adults, their focus is on their life passion, travel, career), and no longer in the same cities, I still keep in touch with them especially when I need a deep, felt hearted conversation. Yet, motherhood has changed the dynamics. I have so little time. I try to find balance between spending enough time with my family, kiddo and spare some for myself… where can one get enough time for it all?? I find that my friendships have become more about sharing the adventure of parenting, because it is during that time that I can get some relief and carve out a little me-time, by socializing with the other moms while the kids self entertain.
The last magical ingredient for a magical village is the kid’s age. When getting together for a play date or baby sitting or sharing/swapping it makes it easier if the kids are around the same age and developmental stages. My villagers and I have gotten to the point that having two children is easier that just having one, because the kids entertain themselves and the pressure is off the parent. Saturday nights are usually too crazy to go out with the whole family. As a way to socialize we have recently been hosting our own parties by having 1 or 2 kids over, and giving some other parents a night out. Usually we will have some sort of pasta, pizza for dinner, a short movie and lastly a jam session. We love to jam to the “African playground”,get the drums and bells out while bouncing to rhythms. The kids get pretty warn out and take a long nap into Sunday morning (yeah!!) and the whole household is in pretty high spirits. You are happy and they are even happier.
Building a village requires time and efforts yet the benefits and ripple effects in one’s life are just tremendous. Studies have revealed that “The key and consistent element in the lives of very happy people is close personal relationships” So happy together
More to come about my personal villages in the next blogs, in the meantime we have build a site and have just launched the capabilities for you to start building your very own Villages of friendship, fund and support. Sign UP FREE now!
Ta-ta for now,
Tiziana
http://www.afamilyvillage.com
