Latest from guest blogger Kristin Vanderhey Shaw: ON-THE-JOB TRAINING
Posted by Catherine on February 09, 2012 : 2 comments
ON-THE-JOB TRAINING
When we brought our son home from the hospital after four days (I have to go home now? No more room service? I’m ON MY OWN??), I was a sloppy swaddler and was too nervous to have him sleep beside me. We had dutifully attended the childcare classes at the hospital and practiced swaddling unmoving, non-wriggling plastic dolls. We had read all about getting him to sleep in the crib.
But in the chaos of new-mom-itis, I discovered my son slept well, snugged cozily in his car seat. So I let him sleep in that for hours at a time. Then I read about torticollis, and I fretted, and I re-learned how to swaddle and got him into a loose routine, putting him in the bassinette for naps.
When he was four weeks old, my sister sent me The Swing. [Cue the happy music.] With three little girls of her own, all of whom were over three at that point, she didn’t need her baby swing any more, and she called me and said, “You’ll want this. I’m sending it.” A few days later, it arrived from Ohio, practically new. My in-laws were in town, and my father-in-law put it together, lickety-split, while Will and I grabbed a quick dinner down the road, our first outing since T was born. When we arrived back at the apartment, my FIL was cooing to our son, who was sitting happily in his new throne. My little prince-in-a-swing.
Soon, he was sleeping in the swing instead of the car seat or the bassinette. My husband, who protested loudly when the swing arrived (where are we going to put that? We don’t have any more room for baby gear!) discovered the swing was his new best friend. As I fought the dragons of postpartum anxiety and extreme insomnia, my husband filled in during the night while I was lying awake in the next room, praying for the Tylenol PM to give me 3 or 4 hours of sleep. He went out and bought rechargeable “D” batteries and a charging station, and that swing was cranking all night long. When we moved into a house across the highway, the swing was handled lovingly and carefully. Probably more so than our wedding china.
After a while, we could put him in the swing in his bedroom after rocking him to sleep, and he would sleep for 7-8 hours without even turning on the swing (beautiful wonderful swing, I love you!). He liked the snug fit of the seat, and I liked that he was predictable. When my OB asked me at a follow-up appointment how he was sleeping, I said, “Great! He sleeps in the swing for eight hours!” She looked disapprovingly at me and told me how important it was that I get him in his own bed. I have enough to worry about right now,lady, don’t add a guilt trip, is what I was thinking as I left the office.
My son slept in the swing until he was four months old. Right around that time, I made plans to bring my son and our nanny with me to Atlanta on a business trip, and it was time to make the switch. Since he was already napping in the crib, it wasn’t completely foreign. We would rock him to sleep, put him gently in the crib, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, I would nurse or rock him back to sleep, and put him in the swing. Over a week or two, he was transitioned completely to the crib. After that we started teaching him with lots of “shhhh-ing” and patting to fall asleep on his own. He has never been a great sleeper, and that’s just how it is.
Learning how to be a mom often involves listening to yourself and figuring out what works for you and your family. I tried to read every baby book, every “what to expect” book, every sleep expert book, and in the end, I tossed them all aside and decided what direction to turn based on where I wanted to go. Together, my husband and I will blaze the path of our own parenthood experience, teaching ourselves and teaching each other. It’s the best on-the-job training you can get, with the greatest challenges and the richest rewards.
Kristin is a mother of a sweet 2-year-old boy and wife to a fantastic 6th-generation Texan, living in Austin, Texas. Loves: her baby boy, airplanes, airports, classic cars, sports, Italy, and dessert; not necessarily in that order. You can reach her via Twitter @AustinKVS or via her blog http://www.twocannoli.com
Previous Comments
Catherine
February 10, 2012I remember thinking, "where is the manual for this baby?" and I read and read and read, and then finally, I realized, I have the manual inside me. I started listening to my instincts. I laugh, we get so evolved and civilized that we forgot that we are in fact animals with natural abilities.
Whitney
February 09, 2012That is one of the most important things I have learned as a parent, do what works for you, not the "norm". Let's face it, we must pick and choose our battles.