Food Fest and Family Dynamics
Posted by Tiziana on July 12, 2011I walked into my cousin Lella house after 18 months since our last visited and after the initial greetings I realize this is a full blown celebration.
An amazingly white wrinkle free linen tablecloth, something you might expect only in the movies and or at the White House, stand out at the center of the room. The table is the center of attention and treated with the respect offered to a shrine to be revered and treated with gracefulness.
While around it – in a house filled with screams and laughter, 3 generations grandparents, parents, children, uncles, aunties, cousins gather with joy and relish.
“Tutti a tavola” Let’s the show begin: 4 varieties of antipastos (of which mostly family made cured meats), hand- made pasta, 4 meat courses (one of which had wild porcini mushrooms freshly picked), salad, cheese, and fruit. A meal is not officially ended till espresso coffee and a “few” pastries are served – as if it was a bow tie that sits firmly on the collar (the last element of getting dressed to the nines).
No wonder my knees are aching and I have a few new bulges showing. Granted most meals sound more like this a pasta dish for lunch (pasta with zucchini, pasta with tomato sauce, spaghetti aglio olio e peperoncino, even the minestrone would not be minestrone in my household without a little carb in it), a protein (cured meats, meat balls, tuna salad, fish etc.) bread, cheese, and wine of course is part of every each meal.
My intention was for my toddler to be immersed into the Italian language and culture and establish a rapport with her grandparents. Mission accomplished, once I figured out that mom (meaning me only English speaker to be found in kilometers) needed to be out of the equation.
One wonders why children behave so differently when their parents are around? I don’t necessarily refer to tantrums, and whining as much as the chosen playmate….. perhaps the choice of their primary language?
Here comes a related question: “Why do grown children (me again) go back to behaving as children when parents are around?”
I truly don’t think that there is an answer to these questions. Family dynamics are just mind boggling…. And to me these dynamics can come in waves like the never ending meals and arrival of dishes at the table. It is all a matter of chaotic flow that you can watch over and over again – shake your head to say “NO, thank you” – yet it will somehow land on your plate. The certainty of it all is that there will be coffee and a little sweetness at the end of it all.
